focus

I am scared by being able to focus to infinity. It really does worry me that everything can be in such clear and crisp focus when I have two lenses suspended in front of my eyeballs. Looking out my window, clouds look different, not nice and fussy, but odd, with sharp edges. Trees in the distance look crisp, whereas a green blur is what I was used to.
I usually don?t wear my glasses, for I have no real need for them, given that I?m short-sighted and my main interest is less than 45cm in front of my nasal passages. I?ve had glasses for two years now, and I still cannot get used to them. Good news though, my eyes aren?t changing, so no chance for my vision to fail even more due to my never ending habit of focusing to 45cm, from my pupils to the cathode ray tube displaying my world.
Before getting the glasses, I never really noticed my eyes were bad. Everything seemed normal to be fussy. The road outside is a nice flat shade of grey, not speckled; the horizon is meant to blur out. That?s perhaps one reason why I don?t find computer games realistic, I was under the impression that it was impossible to focus that far into the distance.
The worrying thing is, I still cannot get used to it. I find it disturbing being able to focus so far, so keep away from my glasses and only use them when I?m copying stuff down from a whiteboard. I fear I have missed too much of the world, seen most of it in a blurred manner, not how nature intended. Together with my slight colour-blindness (however slight it is) I wonder how this has affected my art. I always seem to visualise objects in a strange manner and perhaps this is why. Perhaps it is even a benefit, I can see in a different method to the next person, giving an interesting view to others.
Who knows, I may one-day get a laser shone in my eyes to help me, or knowing me, I?ll go for an aibo and be blind...

by keot, posted on Saturday, 24. May 2003 @ 2109.55 bst